No, son, I do not want you to get a job.

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Something I never ever thought I would say to my son. We had an IEP meeting yesterday with the gifted teacher at my son’s school. She determined he was eligible for the gifted program. I had no idea what a smartie pants my son was. πŸ™‚ She fussed at him for taking too easy classes and proceeded to tell him what classes he needed to take for his last 2 years in high school. All advanced honors or AP (college level) courses. He wants to go to an Ivy league school that is close to home. After we had this meeting I came home and talked with my dh at great lengths.

I always had to work and go to college. There was no way around it. I don’t regret doing it either. But my son wants into an Ivy League school. One that I attended for one semester trying to get my Masters (my brother died and then my dad ended up in the hospital for 7 months so I had to drop out). This is the school he wants to go to. It is so freaking hard. It’s doable but it’s not an easy college.  

We do not have extra money lying around to pay for him to go to college either. After we thought about his educational path he wants to take we decided he would probably, if he’s lucky, make $3000/year working at a part time job. We need him to get a scholarship worth over $23000/year. I would rather him work so hard at keeping his grades up over the 3.8 he has now so that he can get a full scholarship to a good college.  So he was told rather unexpectedly yesterday that he can work during the summer and occasionally if someone needs a lawn mowed, garage cleaned out, etc on a Saturday but he can not get a job that takes away from his studies. He is to spend that extra 10-15 hours a week studying and hopefully if we are lucky enough he will get a full scholarship to a good school. 

Please understand I’m not knocking any college. I went to a state college and got a good education. But I want my son to go where he wants to go. So I’m going to encourage him and support whatever decision he makes.  I only hope we are able to get him a scholarship so he can attend the local Ivy League school. I’d love for him to go there too. I’m not going to lie. It’s an amazing school. Isn’t it funny I always assumed he would work and go to school like I did? I want what he wants. I want to support him. I hope I’m not making a mistake! I also want him to have a good work ethic. We shall see. Hopefully we can manage to get him a summer job and it won’t interfere with school and yet will let him make some money! The things we don’t expect to say to our children make life interesting!

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  1. My younger daughter has been in the TAG program since elementary school. She plays 3 instruments (violin, viola and oboe), is artistic and is active in Junior Civitan and church activities. I also don’t want her to get a job in high school because I want her to concentrate on her studies. She has two things going against her – a lot of absences and a habit of staying up too late (she’s 17 and apparently too smart to go to bed when her mom tells her to). So I get what you are saying – your son’s *job* is to be a good student in order to qualify for scholarships.

    • that’s it exactly! His job is to get a scholarship! He’s played violin for 6 years and just told me he wished he’d chosen viola because less people play it so more likely to get a scholarship! πŸ™‚

      • Why not get him a viola? Does he have a chance for a violin scholarship? I had a piano scholarship in college but didn’t hardly practice at all when I got in college. I was extra busy with 2 majors and sometimes 3 jobs.

  2. Our son has been in the school’s gifted program for the past 3 years. He is also an amazing athlete so when he gets to high school, between studies and sports, there is no way he could also work without one or the other suffering so we plan on being the same way Dina πŸ™‚ I keep telling him smart kids who can play sports too have the opportunity for amazing scholarships and we would rather him focus on those 2 things than to have to worry about working too.

  3. i am sure if the teachers have that much great things to say about him that he will have no problem gettign a scholarship! apply for any and everything you can. And look into EVERY grant possible. my first year of college was paid for by 5 grants and i only had to buy 2 books!! but that was a community college. good luck to him and the family πŸ™‚

    • Thanks Sarah and Cami. Good for you for finding all those grants. I told him if he doesn’t get a dorm I’m ok with that but I’d love for college to be paid for. I can come up with books, food, etc if they can cover the education! πŸ™‚ That’s our goal and his job for the next two years!

  4. chelesa sims says:

    First all I want to say Bravo Mom,you did a fantastic job.Education to me is 1 of the most important things in life and it is obivious that you taught him well.I also would make your decision if i was in your situation.I know it is tough but education is an esstential to a great job instead of a ok job.so in my opinion you are giving him something that will truely benefit him in the future.

  5. Maria Iemma says:

    What am amazing intelligent boy = sometimes we do and say things we never thought would ever be said however it is important to support his education goals. Congratulations to all.

  6. Annette says:

    I have a feeling that’s the same Ivy League school my daughter wants to attend. I don’t want my daughter working a job either, but I will say this…She has been modeling and acting since she was 9, cheering since she was 7, and in honors/AP classes all along. She has always maintained a 4.0 from Kindergarten through 8th grade. She will start high school this fall. Kids are pretty resilient. I had a job in high school, cheered, was on student council, etc…and kept that 4.0. It is possible and it definitely will look good on that college scholarship. Ultimately though…their education is the most important thing, so if his job is good grades…that’s good parenting, if you let him get a job…that’s good parenting, too. I wish him luck in his hugh school and college career. I wish you peace with whichever descision you ultimately make.

  7. I totally get where you are coming from. I was the first one to go to college and I had to work to pay for part of it. My parents had the forethought to pay into a prepaid college fund through the state that paid for most of my college. I think it’s awesome that you support your son enough to want him to go for his dreams and put in the work it takes to get into the school he wants.

  8. Congratulations for raising an intelligent boy and I salute you for supporting his dreams of getting into his dream school.

  9. Shauna Smith says:

    Hi Dina,

    I think this is wonderful that he wont have to work during school and you are supporting his dream to get into that ivy league college.. I hope things go very well in the last couple years of high school for him and you! πŸ™‚

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