and they stink. I hate them. In the last 5 years I’ve lost my best friend since 3rd grade, my brother and now my father. The worse part of life is death. The aftermath of the death is just as traumatic as the death itself. The people who call that don’t know. The bill collectors that call and do know and don’t care. It all happens. Then there’s the expenses. If you’ve not had to decide what to do with a loved one, it’s not fun and it’s not cheap.
I’m not going to lie, I don’t understand burial. They’re not there. I don’t visit them at the grave site. I just don’t get it. It costs about 11 grand to bury someone. Ridiculous. My dad wanted to be buried. But he left no money to speak of. Honestly, if they’re no longer here do we really think they care? No. Cremation is pricey too. The total cost of the cremation was $2300. That’s crazy. Then the funeral home told us that if we didn’t buy a coffin we couldn’t hold a service there. WHAT? That’s what we were told. So we went about looking for more inexpensive places to hold a memorial service.
We found a local place that normally holds weddings, parties, etc. We were able to rent it for 3 hours for $120. Not bad! We held a simple meet and greet. We did not do a normal funeral. I didn’t want one. We let people come and go as they could. We had pictures to look at of my dad and his favorite band playing softly in the background. Nothing like hearing Zac Brown Band’s “Sic em on a Chicken” at his memorial. But it’s about him and it was what he loved. So why not? Then when our time was over we said a simple prayer and a few words about how our life on Earth is fleeting with a few Bible verses. I thought it was perfect.
I know I’m not the only one to go through this. I just wanted to share what we did. I wanted to let people know you don’t have to do what everyone else does. Whatever you can afford is just fine. Just get through it. There’s no sense in going into debt for the burial that person wanted, if there’s no funds for it. If they’ve left funds designated for that, then, of course, do as they wish.
Have you had an alternative funeral? What did you do?
If you’re just now exploring this, let me tell you I’m sorry you are going through this difficult time but you can get through it!
Wondering about my experiences with grief? If you’ve been with me awhile you might remember. If you’re new to my blog you can check out my other articles. Sometimes you can’t heal what you can’t understand. Miscarriages are hard on the whole family. Ugh it’s my life and it’s got to get better. When someone dies and funerals are a part of life and grief is such a process!