We stopped at a Pizza Hut somewhere in Alabama. We went in to order. We were met with a very sweet country waitress. I’m from Tennessee so if I think she’s country…wow, she’s country. She says as we walk in…hey is she adopted. We were like yes (used to this line of questioning). She sits at our table and proceeds to tell us that she could tell. Um, I’d hope so she’s from Korea. Next, she asks (in front of my daughter) do we love her as much as our real children. REALLY? NO, REALLY? We patiently answer, in front of her, that yes she is just as loved as the others. Then we get the, did you adopt her from children’s services. Ok about now we’re getting irritated and trying to move her along. She finally takes our order. I mean really I should have said something to her about how to ask such questions in front of my sweet child and any other. I just didn’t feel like getting into it at the time. I should have given her the education she so rightly needed. Sigh, hello world. Abby is my daughter, I love her as much as children I gave birth too, she is not treated any better or worse, she is just simply loved. We don’t even really think of her as adopted. She’s just ours. Ugh, uneducated people get on my nerves. (and I don’t mean those without a college degree!!!!
:-(…that's just sad. She probably still thinks that it's okay. Hats off to you! You kept your head.
I think you held your composure really well. I'm not sure we wouldn't have been finding a different restaurant to eat at. Good for you for not blowing up!
I used to have a similar experience all the time when my identical twin sons were young. Due to a rare prenatal complication, one is much bigger than the other. (As babies, one was about twice the size of the other.) Strangers would ask (in front of them) if they were twins. When I said yes, they would say that they couldn't be because one was so much taller. (Really?!) It really hurt my smaller son's feelings and left a lasting impression on him.
Thank you guys. I feel so bad for your twin boys. I can only imagine what the smaller one felt like. 🙁
Dina, My first response was to say,
"No, you see, if you must know, my husband and I had an affair and next thing you know…Here she was!"
Trust me for 'bumpkins' it will leave them thinking for a long time! After she takes your order, you can explain to your child that it was just a story to tell nosey people. That you really did adopt her because you loved her! If the waitress says anything later, you can simply say,
"Under the circumstances, I'd rather not discuss it."
This isn't original with me – back in the 50's when I was growing up, my best friend was adopted and her parents used this story all the time!